reader17 (reader17) wrote,

Happenings, Kpop and family

Well there is only a few days left until 2018.   I will start out with today my son turned 30!  I can't believe how fast time flies.  He didn't want to have a party, or ice cream or cake.  Which makes me sad, like I didn't do anything for him.  We took him to Kim's Seafood Restaurant were he had his Top neck clams, me and my daughter had hamburgers.   It's just a tiny little restaurant with booths but we have been going there the past 3 years for his birthday so it feels like a tradition :).

I know in past posts I have metioned I was seperated and I found out through my sister (my cousin told her), that they saw in facebook that my husband got engaged.  (We are not offically divorced yet).  I figured it was coming eventually because he has been seeing her for a while.  Just wondering if I will get the divorce papers in the mail, or a call or something.  I told my kids and my son thinks it is wierd that he got engaged before getting a divorce and my daughter said she is releived now she doesn't have to worry about turning him down if he wants to see her.   The thing that has me thinking about everything is normally I am not a person that snoops on FB but I did look at his account and her's just to see it to see if they made plans for a wedding, but I was reading his past posts to her of how he loves her and thanks her for being there for him, and wishes he would of meet her earlier, which I know this is selfish but it made me think if he had ever said things like that to me, it would of made me happy.  I don't know if is because I was not someone that was there for him, or if it was the state of his mind when we were married and together.   I have been second guessing myself since last night when I heard it.   I also feel bad that after I left him that he wasn't in his kids life, and seeing how he was being in that post to her, it made me feel bad that after we left he never showed them or try to get ahold of them, and let them know he loved them.   (As I said the whole thing has me thinking about the past and what might of been, and what should I of changed).  I am happy he found someone else, to fill the void that I guess I never could of. 

Also since I had heard about Kim Jonghyun from Shinee dying I have been sad, he was to young to die.  I guess because of my daughter with the depression I could see how people can end up feeling like nothing matters, but Jonghyun was very talented, with singing, dancing, writing and performing.  It just is so hard to except.

Usually around the Holiday's I am down and depressed this year I was doing good until I heard about Jonghyun.

I am hoping next year my daughter and son does well and everyone is healthy and happy. I will most likley be back shortly to post about Kdrama's and Kpop and whatever else may come to me :).
Tags: family, happenings, kpop, ramblings

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